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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Boxcar's LiveJournal:

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Friday, June 23rd, 2006
1:18 pm
Tuesday, February 24th, 2004
10:42 am
and even if it is easy to be FREE.... what is your definition of FREEDOM?
Livejournal is fucking rediculous, and i can say this because i have been an addict for years, This whole thing is just more proof, that we are a generation of people who don't care or know about anything. We are all sitting around writting about bands and boys and girls and how depressed we are, and hardly ever does anyone bring up anything truly worthwhile. Right now there are so many things going on around us... a war with no cause, a fucked up lying president, a battle against same sex marriage, corporations and rich men who get tax breaks so that we (the young poor working class) can get less assistance and pay more taxes, a domination of third world countries, a fucked up government which we hardly take any time to challenge... do none of these things mean anything to anyone? Does this some how not affect you? or me? is anyone even aware of what is going on?

someone makes a comment about someone else's outfit at a show or party and this whole rediculous community jumps on them... but you declare your voting for Ralph Nadar (and basically giving Bush the go ahead for another four wonderfull years of that Dim witted fuck sending our friends to wars that don't need to be fought and helping his rich pals fuck us over more and NO ONE SAYS A THING.

No one is talking about what is going on, no one is bringing up the fact that that piece of Texas trash is publically announcing that he wants to STOP MY FRIENDS FROM MARRING BASED ON SEXUAL ORIENTATION. No one is bringing up the fact that PEOPLE WE LOVE ARE FIGHTING A WAR THE MAJORITY OF THE AMERICAN PUBLIC DOES NOT SUPPORT. No one is commenting on THE FACT THAT THAT EGOTISTICAL MAN, RALPH NADAR, MIGHT FUCK UP YET ANOTHER ELECTION YEAR EVENTHOUGH HE HAS BEEN BEGGED NOT TO RUN. no one is talking about THE ECONOMIC PROBLEMS SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THE BUSH PRESIDENCY.

Are we fucking blind? or just apathetic? and most importantly if we are not aware and angry and ready to make a fucking change than... WHO THE FUCK WILL?????
Tuesday, February 10th, 2004
7:16 pm
a trip or two to the emergency room
things have changed, it feels like i have changed... i haven't forgotten though. i miss you guys, it would be good for me to spend time with you... im tired.
Monday, December 15th, 2003
5:53 pm
you are sleeping, you do not want to believe
Things have gotten weird... not bad neccessarily but weird. Tonight is going to be Margarita night at my house, since i got a new blender from my grandmother as an early christmas present. fun times eventhough i am possibly on my deathbead.

sometimes i act like a cat...

i guess i don't have as much to say as i thought... maybe just most of what i want to say i shouldn't.. who knows.

Current Mood: sick
Monday, December 8th, 2003
4:33 am
There speaks a true friend
A made a beutiful Morrissey coffee tabel.. involving hundres of morrissey lyrics, the our frand cover picture of Morrissey cut out and enlarged, adn a ton of decopagh shit. It is so great, i decided today that if the house were burning it would be the only thing i would try to rescue.

I think so much different at four am. there are some people i would like to see, i miss them. I miss the way my life was, not that i don't love it now because i do, but the past is nestalgic and reminds us always of better time though they may have seemed worse as they were happening.

i need to sleep... shit it is so late or early...

Current Mood: awake
Monday, November 10th, 2003
4:20 pm
The world loves us and is our bitch
Everything seems to be wronge right now,not just for myself, but for all the people i love and care about.

i dreamt about you last night and i fell out of bed twice:

Sometimes people don't listen, maybe they don't want too, or maybe they can't but either way they don't. And i can keep running after him and screaming, but it won't change a fucking thing. I can keep scaraficing myself, keep hoping, keep using the word "best friend" but it won't make anything different. pleding for understanding does not mean any will be given. and are people who only know how to take done with you when you have nothing left for them? and what do you get in return for the hours you have dacrificed, what the fuck do i get in return? so far: a headache, nausia, and a drinking problem.. great thanks glad we know eachother.

Okay so why do all the best people i know in the world seem to be barly surviving? why the fuck are we all so fucked up?

for now i must believe in morrissey (the best man in the world):

Angel, angel
Don’t take your life tonight
I know they take
And that they take in turn
And they give you nothing real
For yourself in return

But when they’ve used you
And they’ve broken you
And they’ve wasted all your money
And cast your shell aside

And when they’ve bought you
And they’ve sold you
And they’ve billed you for the pleasure
And they’ve made your parents cry
I will be here
Oh, believe me
I will be here
...believe me

Angel, don’t take your life
Some people have got no pride
They do not understand
The urgency of life
But I love you more than life
I love you more than life
I love you more than life
I love you more than life

Current Mood: confused
Tuesday, November 4th, 2003
4:49 pm
Fuck people who work at bookstores (besides Ryan)
im in love for the first time, and i don't feel bad
Monday, November 3rd, 2003
4:23 pm
The guns in my hand and i know it looks bad but believe me i'm innocent
Saturday, November 1st, 2003
11:47 pm
My Love is Bigger Than Your Love
My Halloween Party- HOLY SHIT
Last night was even wilder than i anticipated. It was a lot of fun and some really great people showed up. Too bad all my friends in drag looked better than me... SHIT!
Well, at this point our house is trashed though, There are cigerette burns all over the carpet, broken glasses, at least a dozen new stains and one of our doors got busted open... shit i am pretty sure it was worth it though. I had so much fucking fun!

Tonight i went to see Time to Fly out in Bremerton, it was weird to be in Bremerton. Becasue it was Kyle's last show it seemed like everyone showed up, which was both fun and kinda weird. I got to spend time with one of my very FAVORITE people in the world though, so that made it all really worthwhile. It was kind of sad to go to a show, It is kinda sad that kyle won't be around or in Time To Fly anymore. It was kinda sad to see how much all my old friends have changed. But like always it was nice to see the boys play.

Tomarrow i have to work and my brother just got home, after like 4 months so i need to get some sleep so i am not totally tired tomarrow.

Thanks for coming to my party guys, i hope you had an allright time....


Current Mood: exhausted
Sunday, October 26th, 2003
12:15 am
im bored
GARAGE GURL - Flirt inna Skirt!
A GARAGE-GURL. Youre into loud music, hot guys and
wild fashions. Youre most at ease when youve
got all your mates around you and you like to
party. Boys are a game and youre always on the
ball because you make sure youre always number
Your virtues: Confidence, fun nature, sociability.
Your flaws: Loudness, jealous tendency, need for

What kind of girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Saturday, October 25th, 2003
12:47 pm
im taking the cure so i can be quiet whenever i a want
i need someone to talk to... my kitties are starting to look bored. Certain people seem to have an unstopable control over my life, and it seems as long as we are both here in this "wicked little town" i will be unable to escape their influence

im sad about Elliot Smith
Friday, October 24th, 2003
3:25 pm
Thursday, October 23rd, 2003
11:24 pm
i need a letter...
...but not that kind

okay, so why does a woman near thirty want to "beat me up"??? that is so rediculous, i don't even know this person. UGH!! sucky.

well i have found a whole new reason to enjoy AIM... he he he

Me and my roommates are having a really big, and of course awesome
pimps and hoes party. SO call me for directions, time, etc. and get skanked out.

Current Mood: tired
1:54 am
i want a barrier
everywhere is someone else's

Someone said to me tonight he was sure i always got my pick.... ha

HI Zaine, im updating, don't call me a slacker
Tuesday, June 24th, 2003
7:05 pm
don't waste your lips on words i've heard before
Have you ever said something really sweet to someone and had them respond with "huh?" yeah that is pretty much garbage.

Billie, Niki, i fucking love you (even if you do encourage me while im vulnerable (sad, lonley, recently dumped)to sing alonge to alanis morriesset and dance to Beyounce....

I have some of the most wonderful people in my life...
Monday, June 23rd, 2003
8:40 pm
I insist that ill be dearly missed
I hooked with a dear old friend last night... And wonderful things happened! See i had been wanting to make a short film for awhile now, but just had no idea what i was doing, and it kinda made it to the backburner... I've been really sad about it since it happend. So last night this old friend of mine (who is brilliant and a film maker) and i began talkig about the film and got all excited and wild-eyed and realized together we could do it. I am so excited and happy and oh god i feel like things are looking up again.

In two weeks i will be living in a house.

A Quote: "all the men i love need me really really bad, they just don't want me..." ah i am fucking hallarious.

For a minute i thought i knew what i wanted. It seemed clear. It made sense. i was confused. I am now even more confused. and for the first time in so long... i am lonley.

Do you want to dance???

Current Mood: artistic
Thursday, June 19th, 2003
6:30 pm
Put on a skull neclace and act like it didn't happen.
not much to say right now, im moving to a new house with two of my friends... hoping a special someone will come visit me soon....

tired of the way things have been. maybe just the way things are.

Current Mood: apathetic
Thursday, June 5th, 2003
12:53 pm
Some morman missionaries came to my house yesterday, they gave me a book of morman and i put it in my purse. We joked about Wisconson.

Nothing much else. im tired though. some of my friends are in town but im not really getting to see them too much.
Monday, May 26th, 2003
1:48 pm
This is something i am fucking sick of!
During class on May 2, Emanuels said he was offended by a student's use of the term "gay" to describe an assignment. The teacher said he responded by referring to the African-American student with a slur referring to black people, asking him how he liked being called that name. He said he did so to make a comparison he thought the class could relate to. Emanuels is white.

According to Little-Latham, Emanuels allegedly used the racial slur twice. He took the student, a 16-year-old junior, into the hallway and allegedly asked how he'd like to be called the racial slur. When some classmates defended the student's use of the word "gay," Emanuels allegedly responded by saying to the class, "OK, how would you like it if I said 'I guess the (slur) can come back in,' " Little-Latham said.

This just brought to my attention something i have been aware of for quite some time. All the time the words gay, Faggot, dyke, and homo are used in derogatory terms. No one seems to see what a fucked up and innappropriate thing this is to say. I understand that lots of kids grew up hearing these words and using them, not in referecne to gay people, but as slang, but it is wronge. Do people walk around saying things are Nigger's that they don't like? No, becuase it is not okay to say the word Nigger, well Nigger and Faggot are exactly the same. They are both derrogatory terms used to bring down and disscriminate against a certain group of people. You wouldn't use the word Nigger, because you don't want to be deemed a racist, but to say Faggot, well that's no big deal, right? no it fucking is. I am so sick of hearing things be called gay or hearing the terms faggot and homo used as jokes or offensive comments. No one thinks about the horrible meanings of these words nor their power. I think of the people i know and that most of them are people who pride themselves in being good, accepting people, and then i hear them say something like "this is gay" and i am in awe at how casually it is used.
Saturday, May 24th, 2003
8:23 pm
well Mr. Chott congradulations, that was quite the party
wild wild wild.

12. naked backflips
11. Cody lighting his pants on fire
10. "come on lets throw all the beer cans in the pool"
9. Being thrown in the pool
8. Kyle's quote of the night
7. Chris speaking sweet nothings to me in French
6. "There done in the Seattle Scene!"
5. Talking shit with the boys and then putting it up on the message board
4. waking up and being terrible wrecked and having Mac know exactly what i need.
3.Having that "oh shit did i really do that last night?" feeling
2. spending quality time catching up with old friends and making new one's
Jessica's barly legal club! (must be recently turned 18 to apply)

What a wild and fun night! I had a great time and miss my friends across the mountains already...

I am home now though and have been for about an hour. My head still hurts and i hardly got any sleep, but boy was it worth it.

Current Mood: sleepy
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